My County Line, Digital Edition

August Issue Available for Digital Download!!!

MikeN — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 16:28:10 +0000

The BP Gulf Oil Spill wrap-up!
Introducing — Chuck Norris, world famous actor and conservative author!

And more!!!

Download HERE!

July, 2010 Issue Available for Digital Download — Finally!

MikeN — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 13:30:14 +0000

Good morning, folks!

Since I updated the website, I haven’t really figured out how I was going to make the digital downloads available…the previous download page was pretty simple — just click on the cover image that you wanted to download. I liked that page, but I wanted to draw more attention to each issue. So here it is…

Download the July Issue of The County Line, HERE!

County Line Reader Survey

MikeN — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 19:25:01 +0000

Please take our Reader Survey and let us know what you think!!

Click here to take survey

Heat Wave Hits Buzzard’s Roost

MikeN — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 20:26:59 +0000

Whew, it is hot here in Buzzard’s Roost. I saw my mulebarn partner & beer drinking buddy Estee K. Bibbles out feeding the chickens ice so they wouldn’t lay hard boiled eggs. The worse thing I’ve seen is ol Nellie Frecklebelly & Agnes & Ophilia Fudpucker laying out in the their little thongs sunbathing. Now, mind you, these are big ol gals. It looked kinda like three 100 Lb sacks of wheat with the string busted….there was fat hanging everywhere. Now I don’t know if the heat had anything to do with it, but our ol buddy Bob Hammontree that owns the grocery store over at Gorman (don’t ask which one….there is only one in Gorman) kinda had a little stroke the other day and they had to haul him down to Ft Worth to the hospital for a little extended stay. I called ol Bob to check on him and ask him what the doctors had said and ol Bob said the doc’s weren’t sure but they thought he had tried to vapor-lock. We sent our local Buzzard’s Roost vet down there and he gave Bob a good cold ice water enema and that seemed to straighten him right out. So go by and check on ol Bob and while you’re there try on them fine steaks he cuts up in the back….they’re so good they’ll make your tongue jump out and slap your forehead !!!!!Talk about things heatin up. Our Buzzard’s Roost preacher was talking to his wife last week and told her he had preached on about everything he could think of, so he was going to do a sermon on horseback riding. His little wife said that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of, but the preacher insisted that was what he was going to preach about on Sunday. As they headed to church on Sunday his wife told him if you are still going to preach on horseback riding, then I am going to just sit in the car so I don’t have to watch you make a fool of yourself. Well, when church started, the preacher got to thinking and changed his mind and decided to do a hellfire & brimstone sermon on SEX. After church two of the old ladies of the church walked out to the car where the preacher’s wife was setting and told her that she had just missed one of the best sermons her husband had ever done. Not knowing the preacher had changed his sermon, the preacher’s wife exclaimed ” I doubt that seriously..…he doesn’t know anything about it. He has only tried it twice, once before we got married and once after we got married and he fell off both times”. Both old ladies fainted…..just too much information !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ol Estee K was telling me the other day about his little grandson that he so proud of. His name is little Johnny K. Bibbles. It seems that his teacher at school had given his class a weekend assignment to sell something, then give a talk to the class on Monday on productive salesmanship. Well, Monday morning they all filed into class and started giving their little speeches.
… little Sally led off. I sold girl scout cookies and made $30. My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirits. Very good said the teacher.
…little Jennifer was next. I sold magazines and made $45. I explained to everyone that the magazines would keep them up to date on current events. Again the teacher said very good.
…eventually it became little Jonny K.’s turn. As the teacher held her breathe little Johnny K. walked up to the teacher’s desk and dumped a box full of cash and said here’s $2467. The teacher cried out “what in the world were you selling”? Toothbrushes said little Johnny K.. I found the busiest corner in town and I set up a free chip & dip stand and gave everybody a free sample. They all said the same thing….”Hey, this taste like dog crap” !!!! And I would say….”It is dog crap…wanna buy a toothbrush????” Then little Johnny K. explained that he had used the Obama Big Government approach of giving you something crappy for FREE and then making you pay to get the crappy taste out of your mouth. No wonder Estee K. is proud of that boy…he’s a chip off the old block !!!!!
I think little Johnny K. had a better understanding of how the government works that Obama and our congressmen have. Look at the Obama gang going to sue Arizona over their new immigration law. All they are doing is trying to enforce laws already on the books. What ever happen to state’s rights as provided in the Constitution????? And did you hear where our illustrious Federal Government shut down one of our National Parks on the Arizona/ Mexico border because the Mexican war lords had taken it over. Rather than sending the Army or National guard to run them out they had rather sue Arizona for trying to keep them out……this is a bunch of brilliant sapsuckers we got up there now ain’t it???? And what about ol Joe Barton apologizing to BP oil company for the Obama doing a little shake down on them to the tune of $20 billion. Not only Obama but some of the Republican hierarchy jumped on him and made him apologize for saying what he said. They even threaten to take his chairmanship of some committee away from him if he didn’t. Now whether you agree with Senator Barton or not, why in the cornbread world doesn’t he have the right to speak his mind. That is the big problem. We can’t send anyone to Washington to tell them what we want. The big wheels in each party are going to tell them what to say and how to vote. Just once I wish one of them congressmen would tell the party big shots to stick their little committee chairmanship where the sun don’t shine. We don’t have a representative type government anymore…..we got a few big shots in each party, with lots of power, running the whole show. I just hope in November the voters send a bunch of them power hungry sapsuckers back home and clean out that rat’s nest up there.!!!
Well me & ol Estee K. gonna go put on our little thong bathing suits and go sunbathe with the fat ladies. I hope some environmentalist group don’t call the authorities about some beached whales out behind the Buzzard’s Roost Bar & Grill.

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM HENRY J. : Diapers and politicians both need to be changed often…….and for the same reason !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can email ol Henry J at :
henryjclevicepin@aol.com

Land of the Free

MikeN — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 20:24:50 +0000

Independence Day is the nation’s moment to reflect on what we have. This year, some folks may find that a little difficult. Jobs have been lost and homes locked down. Other find themselves so budgeted it hurts to spend time. Still…I have a list of very free things we can all enjoy. It is my favorite top three free things…Freedom of Speech-
Citizens of the U.S.A. have freedom of speech. You can say what you want, when you want, if you want. Some people may not like what you have to say, but you can say it, anyway. You, on the other hand, may be shocked, dismayed or angered by the words coming from some one else. They enjoy the same rights as you. If it is not to your pleasure: walk away, turn it off, or throw the paper in the trash.

Freedom of Religion-
You have the right to worship God, love Jesus, meditate on the works of Buddha, or dance around trees. You can be a Muslim, a Christian, a Gnostic Christian, Hindu, or Pagan. We have the right in this country to worship. You may be surprised to find out you cannot be treated badly for your religious beliefs. That goes for all religions. Including those you do not understand, do not sanction and think are stupid. If another’s religion is not to your pleasure: walk away, turn it off, or throw the paper in the trash.

Freedom of the Press-
The press has the right to report, investigate, and inform the people. The press has the responsibility to investigate and confirm its reports. The press must protect the reader/viewer/listener by only reporting the truth in an unbiased fashion. Now that you know the difference, you will be able to tell the real thing when you experience it. If you do not like what you hear/see/read: walk away, turn it off, or throw the paper in the trash.

Yes, times are hard and everything is more expensive. Yet we still have more than any nation in the world per person. We still have rights, voices, faith, and information. That may not be enough to finance a boat at the bank…but it is enough to build a country.
This 4th of July, eat a hot dog, take the kids to see fireworks. Drive your old car and don’t worry about what the rest of the world thinks about you. You are a citizen of the United States of America. If it is wrong, you will change it…we have done so over and over again. We are the greatest nation in the world, and we will be greater.
If you have an idea about an article, e-mail me: johodge@bboxlady.com